Puzzle of the Day
Computer security experts seem to like puns. So if you want to talk like
a computer security expert, you need to be able to inject bad puns into your
conversation. To get you started, here are some puns from the Book of Lists
2 has list of the world's worst puns. Consider yourselves armed (or
- The Eskimo stabbed himself with an icicle. He died of cold cuts.
- In his dessert list, a San Antonio restaurateur suggests, "Remember the
- There was an advice-to-the-lovelorn editor who insisted, "If at first you
don't succeed, try a little ardor."
- The commuter's Volkswagen broke down once too often. So he consigned it to
the Old Volks Home.
- The wise old crow perched himself on a telephone wire. He wanted to make a
- A talkative musician couldn't hold a job. Every time he opened his mouth,
he put his flute in it.
- A farmer with relatives in East Germany heard that a food package he had
sent had never arrived. Optimistically, he assured them, "Cheer up! The wurst
is yet to come."
- When the promoter of a big flower show was told that a postponement was
necessary because the exhibits could not be installed on time, he explained to
his backers, "We were simply caught with our plants down."
- A critic declared that he always praised the first show of a new theatrical
season. "Who am I," he asked, "to stone the first cast?"
- Egotist: a person who's always me-deep in conversation.
- "It's raining cats and dogs," one man remarked. "I know," said another.
"I just stepped into a poodle."
- An eccentric bachelor passed away and left a nephew nothing but 392 clocks.
The nephew is now busy winding up the estate.
- The baseball pitcher with a sore arm was in the throws of agony.
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Page last modified on 2/14/98