Puzzle of the Day
Computer security experts seem to like puns. So if you want to talk
as a computer security expert, you must be able to inject bad puns
into your conversation. To get you started, here are some puns from
what the Book of Lists 2 calls the world's worst puns. Consider
yourselves armed (or forewarned)!
- The Eskimo stabbed himself with an icicle. He died of cold cuts.
- In his dessert list, a San Antonio restaurateur suggests, "Remember
- There was an advice-to-the-lovelorn editor who insisted, "If at
first you don't succeed, try a little ardor."
- The commuter's Volkswagen broke down once too often. So he
consigned it to the Old Volks Home.
- The wise old crow perched himself on a telephone wire. He
wanted to make a long-distance caw.
- A talkative musician couldn't hold a job. Every time he opened his
mouth, he put his flute in it.
- A farmer with relatives in East Germany heard that a food package
he had sent had never arrived. Optimistically, he assured them, "Cheer
up! The wurst is yet to come."
When the promoter of a big flower show was told that a postponement
was necessary because the exhibits could not be installed on time, he
explained to his backers, "We were simply caught with our plants
- A critic declared that he always praised the first show of a new
theatrical season. "Who am I," he asked, "to stone
the first cast?"
- Egotist: a person who's always me-deep in conversation.
- "It's raining cats and dogs," one man remarked. "I
know," said another. "I just stepped into a poodle."
- An eccentric bachelor passed away and left a nephew nothing but
392 clocks. The nephew is now busy winding up the estate.
- The baseball pitcher with a sore arm was in the throws of agony.
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Page last modified on 10/12/98