Puzzle of the Day
Computer security experts seem to like puns. So if you want to talk as a
computer security expert, you must be able to inject bad puns into your
conversation. To get you started, here are some puns from what the Book
of Lists 2 calls the world's worst puns. Consider yourselves armed (or
The Eskimo stabbed himself with an icicle. He died of cold cuts.
In his dessert list, a San Antonio restaurateur suggests, "Remember
There was an advice-to-the-lovelorn editor who insisted, "If at
first you don't succeed, try a little ardor."
The commuter's Volkswagen broke down once too often. So he consigned it
to the Old Volks Home.
The wise old crow perched himself on a telephone wire. He wanted to
make a long-distance caw.
A talkative musician couldn't hold a job. Every time he opened his
mouth, he put his flute in it.
A farmer with relatives in East Germany heard that a food package he had
sent had never arrived. Optimistically, he assured them, "Cheer
up! The wurst is yet to come."
When the promoter of a big flower show was told that a postponement was
necessary because the exhibits could not be installed on time, he
explained to his backers, "We were simply caught with our plants
A critic declared that he always praised the first show of a new
theatrical season. "Who am I," he asked, "to stone the
Egotist: a person who's always me-deep in conversation.
"It's raining cats and dogs," one man remarked. "I
know," said another. "I just stepped into a
An eccentric bachelor passed away and left a nephew nothing but 392
clocks. The nephew is now busy winding up the estate.
The baseball pitcher with a sore arm was in the throws of agony.
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Department of Computer Science
University of California at Davis
Davis, CA 95616-8562
Page last modified on 10/14/99