# Matt’s Humor: Questions

## Questions, We Have Questions ...

- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever the heck comes out!”
- Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its butt.”
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
- If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut … why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
- If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
- If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Are Disney World and Disneyland the only people traps operated by a mouse?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, she gets mad at you, but when you take her for a car ride, she sticks her head out the window?
- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

## Teaching Math: 1950–2000

**Teaching Math in 1950:**

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.

What is his profit?

**Teaching Math in 1960:**

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.

What is his profit?

**Teaching Math in 1970:**

A logger exchanges a set *L* of lumber for a set *M* of money. The cardinality of set *M* is 100. Each element is worth one dollar.

Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set *M*.

The set *C*, the cost of production, contains 20 fewer points than set *M*. Represent the set *C* as a subset of set *M* and answer the following question:

What is the cardinality of the set *P* of profits?

**Teaching Math in 1980:**

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment:

Underline the number 20.

**Teaching Math in 1990:**

By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20.

What do you think of this way of making a living?

*Topic for class participation after answering the question:*

How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees?

*There are no wrong answers.*

**Teaching Math in 2000:**

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120.

How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $60?